The Secret Life of Mees

So I’ve spent the morning trying to figure out what to write about. The kids behaved this morning. I volunteered at school without setting off any alarms. Grocery shopping was uneventful. I got nothin.

So what does any good blogger do under those circumstances? She steals from someone else!

Kidding. Seriously, that’s plagiarism. But what IS okay is to play off a meme or quiz that you found on a friend’s blog. So that’s what I’m doing. Linda over at 2nd Cup of Coffee (a cool, funny chick – you should read her) completed a silly quiz about her name’s “secret meaning.” So I clicked over and plugged in MY name. And here are my (clearly 100% accurate) results. Of course I took the liberty of “clarifying” where necessary:

What Stephanie Means

You are the total package – suave, sexy, smart, and strong. Good thing there are so many positive “s” adjectives! (What a coincidence!) You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. Testing: You are getting sleeeeepy. Send your (dark chocolate only) M&Ms to me now… You don’t always resist your urges to crush the weak. BWAH HA HA HA HA! The raw power in this statement! I feel like Plankton from SpongeBob Squarepants. (“U” is for Uranium—Bombs!) Just remember, they don’t have as much going for them as you do. Well. Obviously. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless – and you have a lot of questions about life. So many questions… If we can put a man on the moon, why can’t manufacturers make a thermal coffeepot that DOESN’T flood the counter? You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You’re most comfortable when you’re far away from home. I’ll tell you about random locations. Apparently I hid all the Christmas ornament hooks in a “random location.” I think I do most of my travel lately to replace stuff I’ve lost in the house. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. I don’t know what you’re talking about. And no, I don’t know HOW that tub of cookie dough got in my shopping cart. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. Why, Thank You. [smiles charmingly] You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. Passionate and easily tempted, plus EASYGOING? How do those go together? Ohhhh. This one must be referring to the person I MARRY. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. I just haven’t found anything important enough. You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people. Again: BWA HA HA HA HA! I’m Dr. Evil! Mini Me, fire the “laser!” Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people’s problems. Particularly when those problems annoy ME. Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest. Yeah, but only occasionally… What? You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Which is why this line is part of the secret meaning for EVERY name I plug into the quiz…. Success comes rather easily for you… especially in business and academia. Why yesh, I DID eahn a Magna Cum Laude at univehsity. And just LOOK how fah it’s taken me. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You’re a strong person. YOU don’t find me overbearing, DO YOU? WELL, DO YOU? Some boring descriptions that I can’t think of a funny comeback to. Blah blah blah…. Continuing… You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. Annnnd, my intuition is telling me that you’re getting bored with this quiz… You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. Hey! When did you get here? You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. And what exactly do you mean by that? You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It’s easy to get you excited… which can be a good or bad thing. AGAIN with the contradictions. You know, this test is NOT accurate. HOW am I supposed to learn the secret meaning of my name when they allow such shoddy work?! I think I’ll write a LETTER. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don’t stick with any one thing for very long. What was I just saying? Oooh, LOOK! Pie! You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. …mmmm, this pie is SPECTACULAR.

What’s Your Name’s Hidden Meaning?

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Well, I know I had fun with that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go clean coffee grounds off the counter. (O Cuisinart! Why do you mock me?!)

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